• making a mother of me

    As I've come into my 40's and experienced brief encounters with early motherhood, I've found myself committing to it regardless of what it takes (going with Geothe on this one) - and with that, exploring new possibilities for becoming a mother; beyond the disney fairytale of 'boy meets girl'.


    On Mother's Day 2019, I pledged through tears of grief and prayer, to make this a year where I take decisive, conscious action towards motherhood - and truly explore the pathways that might be best for me.


    And it's not just about getting pregnant right? It's all the rest of it too; a whole lifetime! So there's home, community, 'schooling', care and family - and livelihood. Right now, I am single, self-employed and am very far away from my family. And I firmly believe in the first 7 years being absolutely fundmental to raising healthy, resilient, conscious human beings.


    To my surprise, as I've discreetly shared this journey with a small number of women, stories of other women's journeys have been shared, as gifts of hope, inspiration, resourceful and pure courage and commitment. How those stories have been medicine for my soul.


    So I'm using my professional skills as researcher and scribe to find more - and share them, knowing that there are other women out there like me, who need this medicine too.


    I'm also putting my design thinking hat on too; what are the options for me to live, work and raise children - potentially on my own, whilst also remaining sane and a positive contribution to them. Otherwise, I'm setting them up for years in therapy.


    I will also be engaging my practices in journalling, poetry, nature connection, ritual and interest in our potential as creators of our experience, to add creative power to my dreams to be a mother.


    How my journey will look exactly I do not yet know. This is an art of life journey; where I will keep showing up and living the question, harvesting stories, exploring possibilities and finding the way through that is right for me.